The first 5 questions children ask about bedwetting

The five main questions – in no particular order, offered by Dr. Charles Sophy, medical director of the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services – are:

1. Why do I wet the bed?

The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) says that children who wet the bed don't do it on purpose. It happens because children don't wake up when they need to go to the bathroom. It can also happen because the kidneys produce too much urine during sleep, or the bladder is unable to hold it, or because of a hereditary link (i.e., bedwetting runs in families). Bedwetting can also be caused by another health problem. "Depending on the child's age and medical condition, there can be different reasons for bedwetting," says Dr. Sophy. A visit to the doctor will help rule out any underlying medical causes. When a patient asks him the question, Dr. Michael Wasserman - a pediatrician at the Ochsner Clinic Foundation in New Orleans, Louisiana - replies that the bladder, where the urine produced is stored, has a control system that doesn't always work very well, but that adjusts as the child matures.

2. How can I stop bedwetting?

You and your child can work together to find the bedwetting management technique that works best for you and your family. Dr. Sr. Sophy suggests seeking help from a doctor. The NKF recommends some techniques that the child can discuss with a parent or doctor:

• Drink regularly throughout the day
• Use the toilet at least 5 times a day
• Use a Pee Stop Alarm
• Avoid caffeinated drinks, sugar, and fruit juices.
• A family member can wake the child at night to go to the bathroom if the child cannot do it alone.
• Use a calendar to track nights with and without incidents.
• Ask the doctor what treatment might help.
• Wear disposable underwear for your comfort and to avoid wetting your sheets.

Of children who wet the bed, 15% stop each year, regardless of the therapy they choose to pursue, says Dr. Wasserman. Time is on the child's side, meaning that bedwetting will eventually disappear.

3. Do my friends also wet the bed at night?

Bedwetting is more common than people think! Tell your child that, according to the NKF, there are over five million children in the United States who continue to wet the bed after the age of six, and that most will outgrow it. So, it's likely your child knows someone who wets the bed.

4. Is bedwetting normal?

Dr. Wasserman states that, in general, the vast majority of children who wet the bed are medically normal. In fact, the parents of many bedwetting children experienced the same problem when they were children. "In some cases, bedwetting can be a predictable manifestation of a medical or psychological problem," says Dr. Sophy. A medical examination should be performed to rule out any underlying medical conditions.

5. Is there something wrong with me?

Dr. Wasserman says the question could also be: Am I different, or even abnormal? The child usually asks this question—and others—because they feel different, in a negative way. Children lose self-esteem, which is by far the most important aspect of the problem and the one parents should pay the most attention to,” says Dr. Wasserman. “Parents need to ensure that bedwetting doesn’t become a negative experience and focus on the child’s positive achievements. Using a reward/recognition system for dry nights is a good start. Verbal praise is effective, and other forms of praise are too, such as a calendar marked with a star for dry nights.”

It's often because of fear, embarrassment, and confusion that your child asks you these questions. But sometimes a child is too caught up in their emotions to ask you. Dr. Wasserman has found that boys have more difficulty than girls discussing "bodily function" issues. Interestingly, it's usually not the children who ask him about bedwetting, but the parents. Children don't usually express their anxieties directly, even when I ask them questions, says Dr. Wasserman. All the more reason for parents to be prepared. "Parents would do well to take the initiative," says Dr. Sophy. "The older the child, the more embarrassment and self-esteem issues they will experience," he says. "In young children, confusion and anger at not being in control are at the forefront and are expressed. An open discussion is always best." Let your child draw their feelings and write an accompanying text, and let them finish the book however they like. Bind the book using the stapler or three-hole punch and tie it with the ribbon.