Bedwetting: Talking about it with children

Talking to Children About Bedwetting Every night, millions of children wet the bed. Every morning, many of them feel lonely and uncomfortable. Others roll up their sheets, put them in the wash, and continue with their day. How can you help a child accept the problem, deal with it, and move on? The best way is open and honest communication. The first step to open communication is understanding and acknowledging that bedwetting is not voluntary. Renee Mercer, MSN, certified pediatric nurse practitioner at Enuresis Associates in Maryland, emphasizes that bedwetting is not within the child's control. If he could control himself, he would. No child would rather wake up wet than dry, she said. The first conversation The first time you talk to your child about their problem, make sure you remain calm and positive. Explain that some people have difficulty learning to ride a bike or swim, and others have trouble staying dry at night. Make it clear that this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him; it's just part of life. Also, let your child know that he's not alone. Nearly 7 million American children wet the bed. Some musicians, movie stars, and sports stars may have suffered from bedwetting as children. Even some heroes closer to home have suffered from it. Recent statistics show that about 85% of children who suffer from bedwetting have a parent who also suffered from it. About half of them have a parent, brother or sister who suffers from bedwetting. Schedule a meeting between your child and an adult who has experienced the same problem. If you don't know anyone, ask your doctor or call a bedwetting clinic to find someone in your area. "Realizing I wasn't alone made all the difference for me," says Rich, an FBI employee who wet the bed as a child. "My mother told me that two of my uncles and my grandmother wet the bed. She told me they outgrew the problem as they grew up, and it would be the same for me. This information helped her accept the problem and be patient. In addition to explaining the situation, you should work with your child to come up with a plan of action. According to Dr. Sandra Hassink, a pediatrician in Delaware, teamwork is key." Family support and positive reinforcement are essential for success. A simple plan might be to have the child take care of removing soiled sheets and remaking the bed while the parent does the laundry. This isn't a punishment! Hassink notes. On the contrary, children often feel better about helping with the cleanup. Finally, remind your child that you are there for them if they want or need to talk. Bedwetting can be a very embarrassing problem. An encouraging and caring ear can make a big difference in how your child responds to the situation. “The more open you are, the less likely you are to find smelly clothes in the corner of the closet,” Mercer says. If you choose to use bedwetting products like disposable absorbent underwear, it's best not to draw too much attention to them. For example, plain white disposable underwear is designed and should be treated as normal underwear. Placing it in your child's underwear drawer and labeling it as nighttime underwear can help boost their self-esteem, especially when they wake up dry. A family conversation Depending on your family dynamic, you may want to discuss the situation with your other children. Siblings often notice when one of the children is wetting the bed, even if you don't tell them, Mercer says. A family conversation will help other children understand that bedwetting is a medical problem, and it is not the fault of the affected child. Talking openly about it can remove the stigma and shame the affected child might feel if they kept it a secret. This is also a good time to explain any treatment the child is undergoing for bedwetting. After the discussion, it is important to clarify that this information should remain within the family. Under no circumstances should the child's friends be told. Parents should prohibit anyone from teasing a child suffering from bedwetting - even in the event of a fierce argument between siblings. Interacting day to day After the initial conversation and the family conversation, subsequent discussions should be initiated by your child. Be prepared to listen to your child at all times if they want to talk, says Mercer. Don't treat or spoil him differently from other children in your home. For example, don't greet him in the morning by asking if he wet the bed. Instead, ask him what he wants for breakfast. By not dwelling on the problem, you will help your child understand that he or she is not just a bedwetter. Talk to your child about bedwetting and, most importantly, listen. This will give them the opportunity to acknowledge and accept their problem. This will help them move forward.