It's a strange kind of joy when your children inherit your engaging smile, your curly hair, or your sociable personality. We love knowing that our children take after us, irrefutable proof that we've truly passed on our genes to the next generation. However, sometimes we pass on things we wish we hadn't. Parents who suffered from bedwetting in their childhood often want to spare their children the discomfort of this legacy.
It's in the genes
Dr. Carolyn Thiedke, a professor of family medicine at the Medical University of South Carolina, says genetics plays a key role in bedwetting. There are undoubtedly several causes of bedwetting, but it's clear that having parents who wet the bed increases the chances of a child wetting the bed as well, she says. Forty-three percent of children with one parent who wet the bed are at risk of also wetting the bed, and if both parents wet the bed, the risk jumps to 77 percent. Parents who have experienced bedwetting in the past often have at least one child who wets the bed. Tamara Nichols, of Dallas, Texas, wet the bed every night until she was 8 years old, then it gradually decreased and finally stopped over the next four years. She now sees her daughters following a very familiar path. Kim is 12, says Nichols. She wet the bed every night until she was 6 and about twice a week until she was 10. It just stopped at 10. Tracy is only 8 and wets the bed almost every night. However, passing on the genes for bedwetting to your child isn't a simple process, and it's not all bad either. Researchers at UCLA have found that parents who pass on bedwetting to their children also often pass on their intelligence. Studies looking at children with a family history of bedwetting have found that children who have more trouble waking up when they need to urinate (often the cause of an accident) also score above average.
I experienced this personally.
Greg Smith, also from Dallas, Texas, feels his experience with bedwetting gives him a special empathy for his 6-year-old daughter, Samantha, who wets the bed every night. “I’m reliving my own struggle, and because my parents reacted harshly, I’m more sensitive to Sam’s situation than my wife is,” he says. Parents who remember their own experiences with bedwetting as children can often appreciate the effects it can have on their children and what they can do to make it less traumatic. “I’ve been through what she’s going through,” Smith says of his daughter. “I do everything I can to reassure her and make sure she doesn’t feel like she’s letting me down. And I work hard to make sure she’s comfortable, both physically and emotionally.”
Parents who wet the bed strongly advise providing emotional support to your child.
Relax. Give yourself time. Be patient, says Nichols. Give your child lots of hugs and comfort. Tell them about your experience with bedwetting so they know you understand what they're going through. Knowing that Mom or Dad also wet the bed gives children a lot of confidence. Nichols knows from experience that children usually outgrow bedwetting, and she works hard to help her daughters get through it while maintaining their self-esteem. To help children better understand the causes of bedwetting, including heredity, visit the website of .
Treatment advice
According to Dr. Thiedke, the treatment for bedwetting is the same whether the cause is genetic or not. She says the first step is motivation. Parents should make sure their child is motivated, says Dr. Thiedke. If the child isn't motivated, the risk of treatment failure is higher. Even more importantly, especially when the causes of bedwetting are likely genetic, parents should understand that children who wet the bed don't do it on purpose, and they shouldn't be punished or humiliated, says Dr. Thiedke. In the advice from parents who have been through it, you can hear the echoes and hard-won knowledge of their own experience. Start by sharing your experience with your child so they feel normal, says Smith. Encourage them constantly. Never put them down or scold them. Give them lots of hugs. Take care of their laundry and messes. It's not hard to imagine the little boy he once was - or how lucky his daughter is to have a parent who understands her so well.
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