Help for families with multiple children suffering from bedwetting

Like brother, like sister: Bedwetting is always a challenge for both parent and child, and when both parents have more than one bedwetting child, it can become even more difficult to manage. But with a few tips and knowing that it's often hereditary, you'll be on your way to better mornings. A family affair Bedwetting often occurs in children and young adolescents, and it's something they can't control. It's even more common if one or both parents also wet the bed as children. Studies show that if one parent wet the bed, then 40% of their children will have the same problem, says Dr. Michael Ritchey, a pediatric urologist at Hermann Hospital in Houston, Texas. If both parents wet the bed, then 60 to 70% of their children will also wet the bed. So, if you or your spouse used to wet the sheets, there's a chance that one of your children will experience the same problem. In some families, bedwetting even affects more than one child. Two of Glynda Hayes's three children wet the bed. "My father and brother both wet the bed growing up," Hayes says. Karla Giramonti, a nurse practitioner in the urology department at Albany Medical Center in New York City, says she's not surprised Hayes has more than one child with bedwetting. "I tell parents that if one child wets the bed, chances are the others will have the same problem," she says. "However, the fact that some of your children wet the bed and others don't can be difficult for them to understand." Hayes says she struggles to explain to her children why two of the three wet the bed. "They tend to wonder why them," she says. Although Hayes says her children don't talk about the problem together, they encourage each other. "They respect each other and don't argue about it," she says. My middle son and daughter never once mentioned their older brother's bedwetting. Different treatments Dr. Ritchey explains that treatment is the same whether there is one or more bedwetting children in the family. However, it's usually easier to treat the second child, he says. Parents tend to worry less if an older sibling has already been treated and has outgrown the problem. Siblings may also respond differently to treatment methods, for example, experiencing different side effects to medications. While there's no one-size-fits-all solution to bedwetting, there are solutions, such as wearing pads, that help parents and children cope with bedwetting and reduce stress for everyone until the child outgrows the problem. "I try everything, regardless of past experiences," says Giramonti. "I treat each child like a new patient. What doesn't work for the older brother might be the perfect solution for the younger sister." Sarah Lyons* is the mother of two bedwetters. Our son Alan*, who attends primary school, continues to struggle to stay dry at night, she says. But her eldest son overcame the problem by the age of 5. Why do some children outgrow bedwetting before others? We don't know why children outgrow bedwetting at different ages, says Giramonti. However, we do know that the older children are, the better their chances of outgrowing bedwetting. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, bedwetting occurs in: 20% of 5-year-old children in 10% of children of 6 children and even in 3% of 12-year-old children. Special challenges If you have twins, triplets, or more, you may face the added challenge of having children the same age who wet the bed. If the children are identical and share the same genetic code, there's an even greater chance that they'll both wet the bed if one suffers from the problem. Parents of twins become experts at trying everything more than once, and helping their children overcome bedwetting is no exception. No matter what you do for one child, you'll do it for the other, too, whether it's limiting fluids at bedtime or taking them to the bathroom before bed. Jessica Anderson*, a mother of identical twins, says she emerged stronger from her experience. "I have to be mentally and physically stronger than my friends without bedwetting twins," she says. "I lift them out of bed and take them to the bathroom, and I mentally prepare myself to maintain their self-esteem by constantly explaining that their problem is natural and there's nothing wrong with them." It's exhausting, but that's my life right now. I know this too shall pass! One of Hayes's biggest challenges is getting support from others. When my friends and I come across the topic, they look at me in disbelief, she says. It's like they think I'm doing something wrong because I have two children who wet the bed." Which, of course, isn't true. It's important to seek support from people who understand that bedwetting is no one's fault, not the parents', not the children's. The site offers many ways to connect with other parents facing the same problem. When you have three kids, laundry is always a challenge, and when you have more than one who wets the bed, it can become overwhelming. When my son and daughter both have accidents in the same night, there's a lot of laundry to do to remake the beds, Hayes says. To help reduce laundry, children can wear disposable protection, such as absorbent underwear and diapers, to keep their sheets dry. "Our children wear disposable underwear at night," says Amy Devries, a mother of two bedwetters. She notes that disposable underwear probably costs the same as doing laundry every day. "It's also less stressful for everyone," she says. Expert tips The following suggestions come from the Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the National Kidney Foundation (NKF), and mothers with more than one bedwetter to help your child overcome the bedwetting blues and stay dry: Cut the teasing. The AAP suggests imposing a rule on family members not wetting the bed so they don't annoy those who are affected. Emphasize each child's achievements in other areas . The NKF recommends discussing athletic and academic achievements in front of others so that each child receives positive feedback. Let children know that bedwetting is a personal matter and that they do not have to talk about it in front of other children. We sat down with my younger son and gently told him that his older brother's bedwetting was a family matter, says Glynda Hayes*, two of whose three children wet the bed, and that it was not to be discussed with others. Treat each bedwetting child separately . "My son has started to get very frustrated with his problem," Hayes said. "But so far, my daughter doesn't seem too bothered." Minimize the challenge of changing wet sheets. Hayes suggests putting several layers of sheets and plastic mattress protectors on the bed. If an accident happens in the middle of the night, you can simply remove the first layer of sheets and the first mattress protector, and the bed will still be ready. "I have waterproof mattress covers on every bed in the house, even Mom and Dad's bed," says Ann Duncan*, a mother of two bedwetters. Use absorbent products . Many mothers appreciate the benefit of having less laundry to do, and less stress as a result, as well as the effect on the child's self-esteem when wearing such products. *Although bedwetting is a normal part of growing up, we have chosen to change the names of individuals in our articles to protect their privacy. Keep in mind that according to the National Kidney Foundation, more than five to seven million children over the age of 5 wet the bed in the United States.