Your growing child's nighttime needs

From the parents' point of view, it doesn't matter whether their young toddler needs a diaper or training pants during the day or at night.

As children develop motor skills in the relevant body parts, they also develop emotionally. They want to gain a sense of control, or at least realize what they can truly do on their own. Ideally , therefore, toilet training has nothing to do with behavior or obedience.

We need to help children feel that this is something they can master, triumphantly affirming their growing up! Of course, not all children are ready or able to be potty trained by age 3. It happens earlier for some, later for others. To encourage this learning process, we take steps to motivate the child to go, and we approve or applaud when they succeed. Nothing is more motivating than the attention of a loving parent.

During toilet training, we help the child understand the sensations that tell them it's time to go.

But at night, while he sleeps, it is difficult for him to know .

Because bedwetting occurs during sleep, the child no longer responds to star charts, small rewards, or anything else they've been taught. Trying to encourage them by letting them wear, for example, regular underwear when they're not yet consistently dry can make them feel bad if they fail, and even worse, believe they're disappointing their parents. Sometimes parents tell me that their child isn't "dry at night."
I think it's better to talk about enuresis. It's normal for many 4-year-olds, but also for some 11 or 12-year-olds.

Bedwetting is likely to affect your child, and no amount of "learning" will make it go away. It results from complex bodily signals that occur involuntarily at night while the child sleeps. Your child has no way of controlling them. The signals change and develop as the child grows older. This happens early for some, and a little later for others. There is often a family history, suggesting a genetic influence.

Ask your child's grandmother; you might be surprised by what you learn! The most important thing is to help the child not feel bad, so don't take or talk about bedwetting as a failure. Be encouraging and prepared. I recommend disposable bed pads to help reduce the stress of nighttime accidents and keep the sheets dry.

Even though bedwetting is almost always normal, start mentioning it at doctor's appointments when your child is 4 or 5 years old. The doctor will want to know if your child has ever slept through the night. If your child has been dry for long periods but has recently started wetting the bed at night, make an appointment with your doctor. A potty-trained child who suddenly starts having accidents during the day may have a medical problem.