Your Growing Child's Nighttime Needs

From a parent's perspective, it doesn't matter whether their toddler needs a diaper or training pants during the day or night. As children develop motor skills in the relevant body parts, they also develop emotionally. They want to gain a sense of control, or at least realize what they can truly do on their own. Therefore , toilet training ideally has nothing to do with behavior or obedience. We need to help children feel that this is something they can master, thus triumphantly affirming that they are grown up! Of course, not all children are ready or able to be potty trained at age 3. It happens earlier for some, later for others. To encourage this learning, we take steps to encourage the child to go, and we approve or applaud when they succeed. Nothing is more motivating than the attention of a loving parent. During toilet training, we help your child understand the sensations that tell them it's time to go. But at night, while he sleeps, it is difficult for him to know . Because bedwetting occurs during sleep, the child no longer responds to star charts, small rewards, or what he has been taught. Trying to encourage him by letting him wear, for example, regular underwear when he is not yet consistently dry can make him feel bad if he fails, and worse, believe he is disappointing his parents. I have had parents tell me that their child is not "nighttime toilet trained." I think it's better to call it bedwetting. It's normal for many 4-year-olds, but also for some 11- or 12-year-olds. Bedwetting is likely to affect your child, and no amount of "training" will make it go away. It results from complex bodily signals that occur involuntarily at night while the child sleeps. Your child has no way of controlling them. The signals change and develop as the child ages. This happens early for some, and a little later for others. There is often a family history, which suggests a genetic influence. Ask your child's grandmother; you might be surprised at what you learn! The most important thing to do is to help your child feel comfortable, so don't treat bedwetting like a failure. Be supportive and prepared. I recommend disposable pads to help reduce the stress of nighttime accidents and keep sheets dry. Although bedwetting is almost always normal, start mentioning it during doctor visits when your child reaches age 4 or 5. The doctor will want to know if your child has ever slept dry. If your child has been dry for long periods but has recently started wetting the bed at night, make an appointment with your doctor. A toilet-trained child who suddenly starts having daytime accidents may be presenting a medical problem.