Hosting a Sleepover for Bedwetting Kids

Have fun too! Some children with bedwetting are reluctant to spend the night at a friend's house or have someone stay overnight. Hosting a sleepover with other bedwetters can be a great way for your child to better cope with their bedwetting. Child psychologist Dr. Susan Bartell says it can be very difficult for children to feel like they're missing out on something fun with their friends. This can be very upsetting for children, and they are both sad that they have to miss out because they are afraid of wetting the bed and angry that their body isn't cooperating and there is something wrong with them but not with other children, says Dr. Bartell. The unpredictability is difficult for them to deal with and makes them feel like they are not in control of their bodies. They often blame themselves, without realizing that it is a matter of physical maturity. One of the main problems with bedwetting is that it is not often talked about. Children often feel like they are the only ones with this problem. The bedwetting child may feel that sleepovers are beyond their strength. Debbie Schmidt, a mother of two in Portland, Oregon, says her son didn't participate in sleepovers until a certain age. "I think he dreaded them," says Schmidt. "When he was younger, he didn't think about it, but as he got older, he was afraid of what other people would think. I learned in scouts that other boys who also suffered from bedwetting wore absorbent products." Dr. Bartell emphasizes the importance of helping these children realize they are not alone in their struggle with bedwetting. This can be done by telling children that others have the same problem, reading them books, and, if appropriate, talking about our own experiences (it may be genetic), or the experiences of an older sibling, she says. According to Dr. Bartell, a sleepover can give a child more independence and self-esteem. It encourages the child to separate from their parents, helping them feel bigger, which is especially important for those who feel like a baby because they wet the bed, says Dr. Bartell. The child learns that bedwetting doesn't have to get in the way of fun childhood experiences. The child also learns to empathize with someone in the same situation. A successful sleepover Dr. Bartell offers some cautionary notes for parents, though. For some children, it may be a good idea to have a sleepover with a child in the same situation because then they won't have to hide the problem or feel embarrassed, says Dr. Bartell. On the other hand, if the child wakes up wet, but the others don't, they may still be embarrassed. And even if the friend has the same problem, the non-wetter might annoy the other, feeling like they're on the other side of the problem for once. Be proactive about this kind of situation. "Talk to both children ahead of time and have them share what would happen if one wet the bed and the other didn't," says Dr. Bartell. Model and teach them encouraging things to say to the other the night before, then talk to both of them to find out how they feel about sharing the experience. Help them trust that it will be a positive experience for both of them, then be there first thing in the morning to monitor their interactions and, if necessary, intervene with encouragement. It's also important to inform the parents of other children about how the sleepover will be going. Their child may be going to the bathroom at a set time, and you should know that. Here are some other key tips: If the children involved are older, you may want to take a more discreet approach. This can be a good reminder to leave disposable underwear or pads on display in the bathroom and to limit liquids in the evening. If one of the children you are visiting is very embarrassed about their bedwetting, ask their parents to place their pads at the bottom of their sleeping bag. Limit your child's caffeine intake and excitement before bedtime. The last activity of your sleepover should be relaxing, such as a movie or a quiet craft project while listening to soft music. Remember to send everyone to the bathroom before turning off the lights. Make sure they have fun! Penny Warner is a child development specialist and book author. She believes the best way to make a sleepover a success is to make sure the kids are having fun. When hosting a sleepover, it's a good idea to communicate with parents to let them know what's planned, says Warner. This is also a good time to ask if their child is a bedwetter and offer to provide disposable underwear or pads. Warner offers the following tips to make your sleepover a success: Organize a scavenger hunt. Hide fun objects around the house, write clues leading to hidden treasures, and ask the children to find them. For even more fun, use the ingredients for a special snack or components of a craft project as the objects. Or organize a scavenger hunt around the house or yard with teams racing to find the objects. Personalize your own T-shirts. Have the kids bring blank T-shirts or give away inexpensive ones. Then have the kids decorate and personalize the T-shirts with fabric paint, Puff Paint, and permanent markers. Add sticker jewels. Camp outside—or inside! Set up tents outside if the weather permits. Otherwise, set them up inside and let the kids camp in the house. Offer camping-style food like hot dogs. Tell ghost stories around a “campfire” with flashlights, and sleep in the tents. Play karaoke. Rent, borrow, or buy a karaoke machine, and let the kids sing their hearts out. Film the performances and replay them for the audience with popcorn and soda. Vote for "funniest," "most off-the-wall," "best impression," and so on. Hosting a sleepover for bedwetters requires tact, planning, and communication. But by thinking and planning ahead, you can ensure your child doesn't miss out on this fun and important part of childhood!