A mother guides her son through bedwetting

If you don't succeed the first time, try again and again. This seems to be the theme Betsy's son's bedwetting experience. Betsy's 11-year-old son, Mike, has been wetting the bed for as long as he can remember, and he and his mother have tried a variety of techniques, none of which have solved the problem. One treatment after another Betsy, 38, of Minneapolis, Minnesota, tried many treatments to help her son combat bedwetting. She first bought an alarm that clipped to her son's underwear to alert him when he started to wet himself, but while he was sleeping, Mike would unknowingly remove it, making the alarm useless. Betsy also tried waking him periodically to go to the bathroom, but because he sleeps so soundly, that method didn't work either. "We fought a lot trying to wake him up in the middle of the night," she says. As a last resort, they tried medication, but unfortunately, it caused unpleasant side effects. "Mike always had a dry mouth, so he always wanted to drink more," Betsy says. "It didn't make sense." They also saw the doctor several times over the years to make sure Mike didn't have a medical problem. Finally, help! Finally, after trying all sorts of treatments, Betsy stumbled upon a technique that didn't solve the problem, but it helped her and her son manage it effectively until it went away. The only thing that seemed to work was disposable underwear, Betsy says. They helped her son gain more confidence, and now, she says, you wouldn't even know he was wearing them. It's easier for parents when it comes time to wash the sheets. Maintaining self-esteem Because Betsy wet the bed until the age of 13, like his two brothers, his father, and his grandfather, she understands her son's burden and knows it can be devastating to a child's self-esteem. Wetting the bed affected her greatly. She says she had very little self-confidence as a child and felt excluded. "I felt like I wasn't as good as everyone else, which is never good when you're trying to make friends," Betsy says. "There was no one to talk to back then, and there was nothing to do about it." To make sure her son doesn't experience the same emotional issues she did, she works hard to maintain his self-esteem despite the challenge of bedwetting. Betsy says she initially explained to him that it's been a problem in the family for a long time and that he would grow out of it. I tell my son all the time that it's important to understand that he's not alone with this problem and that he's very intelligent, handsome and good company, she says. She also helps him overcome the challenges of staying overnight at friends' houses. He chose to tell a close friend, and that friend is very understanding and accepting of him, she says. He also has certain friends who would tell the whole neighborhood if he had an accident, and then he would get nagged. I don't let him stay overnight at those friends' houses very often. I guess I'm trying to protect him. She also talked with her 9-year-old daughter about her son's bedwetting so no one would worry and he wouldn't get nagged. "I explained to my daughter that this could happen to her too," Betsy says. "I explained to her that she can't tell her brother or nag him about it, and that her uncles and I have had this problem too. She did really well." Advice for parents Although the bedwetting years can be a difficult time for both parents and child, Betsy advises patience. You have to be patient and understand the child's situation, she says. You can't get angry about it. You have to accept the problem and deal with it as best you can. "I think she'll grow out of it just like it did for me," Betsy says. "And when that day comes, she already has a surprise planned: a new bedroom set."