Genetics and bedwetting.

It's a strange joy when your children inherit your engaging smile, your curly hair, or your outgoing personality. We like to know that our children take after us—proof that we truly have passed our genes on to the next generation. However, sometimes we pass on things we wish we hadn't. Parents who suffered from bedwetting as children often wish their children would be spared the discomfort of this legacy. It's in the genes Dr. Carolyn Thiedke, a professor of family medicine at the Medical University of South Carolina, says genetics plays a key role in bedwetting. There are likely several causes of bedwetting, but it's clear that having parents who wet the bed increases the risk of a child wetting the bed as well, she says. Forty-three percent of children with a bedwetting parent are at risk of wetting the bed as well, and if both parents wet the bed, the risk jumps to 77 percent. Parents with a history of bedwetting often have at least one child who wets the bed. Tamara Nichols of Dallas, Texas, wet the bed every night until she was 8, then it decreased and finally stopped over the next four years. Now she sees her daughters following a very familiar path. Kim is 12, Nichols says. She wet the bed every night until she was 6 and about twice a week until she was 10. It just stopped at 10. Tracy is only 8 and wets the bed just about every night. However, passing on the bedwetting genes to your child isn't a simple process, and it's not all bad either. UCLA researchers have found that parents who pass on bedwetting to their children often pass on their intelligence as well. Studies looking at children with a family history of bedwetting have found that children who have more trouble waking up when they need to urinate (often the source of an incident) also have higher than average IQ scores. I have personally experienced this. Greg Smith, also of Dallas, Texas, feels his experience with bedwetting gives him special empathy for his daughter, Samantha, who, at 6, wets the bed every night. "I'm reliving my own struggle, and because my parents reacted harshly, I'm more sympathetic to Sam's situation than my wife," he says. "Parents who remember their experiences with bedwetting as children can often appreciate the effects bedwetting can have on their children and what they can do to make it less traumatic. 'I've been through what she's going through,' Smith says of his daughter. 'I do everything I can to reassure her and make sure she doesn't feel like she's letting me down. And I work hard to keep her comfortable physically and emotionally.' Parents who wet the bed strongly advise supporting your child emotionally. Relax. Give yourself time. Be patient, says Nichols. Give your [child] lots of hugs and reassurance. Tell them about your experience with bedwetting so they know you understand what they're going through. Knowing that Mom or Dad also wet the bed gives kids a lot of confidence. Nichols knows from experience that children usually outgrow bedwetting, and she works hard to ensure her daughters get through it with their self-esteem intact. To help children better understand the causes of bedwetting, including heredity, visit . Treatment Tips According to Dr. Thiedke, treating bedwetting is the same whether the cause is genetic or not. She says the first step is motivation. Parents should make sure their child is motivated, says Dr. Thiedke. If the child isn't motivated, the risk of treatment failure is higher. Even more important, especially when the causes of bedwetting are likely genetic, parents should understand that children who wet the bed don't do it on purpose, and they shouldn't be punished or shamed, says Dr. Thiedke. In the advice of parents who have been there, you can hear the echoes and hard-won knowledge of their own experience. Start by sharing your experience with your child so they feel normal, says Smith. Encourage them constantly. Never put them down or scold them. Give them lots of hugs. Take care of their laundry and messes. It's not hard to imagine the little boy he once was—or how lucky his daughter is to have a parent who understands her so well.