Helping Your Children Control Their Nighttime Problems

It's true that there's a certain sense of independence when you're mature enough to go to school, without a parent around, for most of the day. School-age children decide what to eat for dinner, figure out how to get to class, plan where to meet their friends, and accomplish many other important tasks with minimal adult supervision. Children between the ages of 5 and 11 are fully aware of this autonomy in controlling their urination. Like the rest of us, they love to feel in control . No one is trying to manage every minute of their time. But in a new or challenging situation, being independent can lead to a sense of loneliness. This can be frightening and frustrating. They believe that 'grown-ups' can manage on their own. Children are no different than we are . Most people feel more secure when they know they have some control over the world around them. This sense of control is an essential part of the development that takes place during the school years. All children aspire to it, and parents are eager to show them how to achieve it. But, like all of us, children sometimes face situations beyond their control. Naturally, they may have difficulty managing these obstacles. They need the help of a parent who will show them how to handle stressful situations while maintaining their independence. Generally, the technique involves finding something they can control and teaching them to master it. As they gain confidence, children will be willing to try new approaches. This strategy helps maintain the loving and supportive role of the parent. Bedwetting in a child this age can be a challenge for both parent and child. The child is old enough to feel uncomfortable about what they perceive as a lack of control. (Medically, this has nothing to do with willpower or bad habits.) It is very important for parents to communicate with their child to make them understand that it is not their fault and that they do not have to face the problem alone. The parent's role is to help the child regain their sense of control. First, approach the issue sensitively and discreetly (don't bring it up at a Thanksgiving meal in front of family or friends). Then show your child that you are going to tackle the problem together, as a team. Decide together if you want to talk to the doctor and consult the internet to find out more. For many children, just trying a protective product like absorbent pants or diapers, which allows them to wake up in a dry bed, is enough to regain that sense of control.