A mother guides her son through bedwetting

If you don't succeed the first time, try again and again. It seems that's the theme Betsy's son is experiencing with bedwetting. Mike, Betsy's 11-year-old son, has been wetting the bed for as long as he can remember, and he and his mother have tried a whole range of techniques without any of them solving the problem.

One treatment after another

Betsy, 38, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, tried numerous treatments to help her son with bedwetting. She first bought an alarm that attached to his underwear to alert him when he started to wet the bed, but while he slept, Mike would unknowingly remove it, rendering the alarm useless. Betsy also tried periodically waking him to use the bathroom, but because he sleeps so soundly, this method didn't work either. "We had many arguments trying to wake him up in the middle of the night," she said. As a last resort, they tried medication, but unfortunately, it caused unpleasant side effects. "Mike always had a dry mouth, so he always wanted to drink more," Betsy said. "It didn't make any sense." They also saw a doctor several times over the years to ensure Mike didn't have an underlying medical condition.

Finally, help!

Finally, after trying all sorts of treatments, Betsy stumbled upon a technique that didn't solve the problem, but it helped her and her son manage it effectively until it disappeared. The only thing that seemed to work was disposable underwear, Betsy says. It helped her son gain more confidence, and now, she says, you wouldn't even know he was wearing any. It makes washing the sheets much easier for the parents.

Preserving self-esteem

Because Betsy wet the bed until she was 13, like her two brothers, her father, and her grandfather, she understands the burden her son is carrying and knows how devastating it can be for a child's self-esteem. Bedwetting affected her deeply. She says she had very little self-confidence as a child and felt excluded. "I felt less than other people, which is never good when you're trying to make friends," Betsy says. "There was no one to talk to back then, and there was nothing to do about it." To ensure her son doesn't experience the same emotional struggles she did, she works hard to maintain his self-esteem despite the challenge of bedwetting. Betsy says she initially explained to him that it's been a long-standing family issue and that he'll grow out of it. I tell my son all the time that it is important to understand that he is not alone with this problem and that he is very intelligent, handsome and good company, she said.

She also helps him overcome the challenges of having sleepovers at friends' houses. He chose to tell one close friend, and that friend is very understanding and accepts him as he is, she says. He also has some friends who would tell the whole neighborhood if he had an accident, and then he would get teased. I don't let him stay overnight at those friends' houses very often. I guess I'm trying to protect him. She also talked to her 9-year-old daughter about her son's bedwetting so that no one would worry and he wouldn't get teased. I explained to my daughter that it could happen to her too, Betsy says. I explained that she can't talk to her brother about it or tease him about it, and that her uncles and I have also had this problem. She handled it really well.

Advice for parents

Although the bedwetting years can be a difficult time for both parents and child, Betsy advises patience. "You have to be patient and understand the child's situation," she says. "You can't get angry about it. You have to accept the problem and manage it as best you can. I think it will pass for her, just like it did for me," Betsy says. And that day, she already has a surprise planned: a new bedroom set.