Surviving Sleepovers

5 questions and answers to help your child manage bedwetting elsewhere Sleepovers are a rite of passage for children starting primary school. But for some children, they can be a source of anxiety. Not because they fear being separated from Mum and Dad, but because they fear wetting the bed. For example, Paula Benson's son, who struggled to stay dry at night until he was 11, worried about having an incident when he was away. Basically, he avoided every sleepover that came his way. If he went somewhere, he forced himself to stay up all night, she says. So what do you do when you get an invitation to a sleepover? Talk to your child to see if they're worried about it. Once you know what your child is worried about, you can help them create a plan for a successful sleepover. Below are some questions you might want to ask during your conversation and tips to help you prepare your answers. 1 - No one but me wets the bed at the sleepover! This may be true, but two out of 10 children ages 5 to 10 wet the bed, so chances are your child has friends with the same problem. Most children are not comfortable talking about bedwetting with their peers, so it rarely comes up. Check out offering absorbent products and where you will find more practical information and statistics on bedwetting. Even if your child is likely (or not) to be the only one to wet the bed at a sleepover, it can be encouraging for them to know that, all over the world, children who face bedwetting survive sleepovers. 2 - My friends will think I'm a baby because I wear disposable underwear! One of the great things about absorbent underwear is that no one knows you're wearing them! They're practically invisible under pajamas. Ashley Davis* of Evanston, Illinois, has a 6-year-old son who wets the bed. "Only once was our son embarrassed to wear absorbent underwear in front of others," says Davis. "We were at a party, and he put his pajamas on there. Her son was upset because he thought everyone knew he was wearing disposable underwear. But Davis explained to him that no one knew, and that he just looked like he was wearing pajamas. Since then, many of his friends and cousins have stayed overnight, and he's never been uncomfortable," says Davis. She adds that he's happy to spend the night with friends without being embarrassed about his underwear. Grace Hanes* has a 12-year-old son who also wears absorbent products for sleepovers and was worried about the sound disposable underwear made when he moved. He and his mother found a pair of lined fleece pants that he wears over his underwear to reduce the "crunchy" sound. 3 - How will I dispose of wet underwear in the morning? Karla Giramonti, a nurse practitioner in the urology department at Albany Medical Center in New York City, tells her patients to put a plastic bag with absorbent underwear in their sleeping bag. In the morning, the child can discreetly put the underwear they're wearing in the plastic bag and roll the plastic bag into the sleeping bag. No one will ever know! If your child isn't bringing a sleeping bag, talk to their friend's parents before the sleepover. Ask them to show you a discreet place where your child can change clothes and dispose of the underwear . 4 - How will I do at summer camp? Paula Criel, director of camping services for the YMCA of Greater Houston, says that before a child attends camp, parents fill out medical forms and a camper profile to alert counselors of issues like bedwetting. It's not unusual for a counselor to have a few campers who wet the bed, Criel says. She adds that counselors have a history of helping children hide their problem. 5 - Can I be cured of bedwetting and thus no longer fear accidents during sleepovers? Your pediatrician can prescribe medications to keep your child dry at night until their bladder matures. However, Giramonti says these medications don't address the underlying problem, only some of the symptoms. They also have multiple side effects, so they shouldn't be used without first consulting a doctor. If you decide to use medications for your child's bedwetting, Dr. Michael Ritchey, a pediatric urologist in Houston, Texas, suggests starting a few days before the event because it may not work. "My son tried some medications," Hanes says. "Since that didn't work, her son now uses disposable underwear for outings, and he's making the most of it." *Names have been changed to protect privacy.