Talking about bedwetting: a method for parents

Do you remember your childhood games? There were times when you missed your shot, said you weren't ready, and asked to start over. As a parent, I often wished I could take back the time. Parenting can be hard! There's no course on how to stay relaxed when your teenager is learning to drive and almost rips off the mailbox. There's no guide on how to act when your toddler writes "I love Mommy" with permanent marker on the wall. And the best way to handle bedwetting probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you see the pink line on the pregnancy test. Six pink lines later, I've had my fair share of bedwetting children. Over the years, I've learned the best (and worst) ways to handle these nighttime accidents. I share these tips in the hopes that you'll feel better prepared to confront this delicate issue. Let me first share my mistakes. I remember getting mad at my oldest for wetting the bed, and I thought he was doing it on purpose. Or not necessarily on purpose, but I really believed it was laziness and he could stop if he wanted to. But, of course, I was wrong. I was mad at him for several years, and he felt ashamed. Bedwetting caused us both enormous frustration, and we had a really hard time talking about it. Luckily, I've had plenty of opportunities to correct my mistakes with my other five children. Here's what I learned: Tell your child they're not doing anything wrong: The most important thing to know about bedwetting is that it's not your child's fault, and they need to know that you're not disappointed in them. Bedwetting is almost always due to physiological causes, such as an immature bladder or deep sleep. For many children, it takes a little longer for their bodies to mature. Gently tell your child that it's just a matter of growing up: be patient and know that it will pass. Bedwetting is a temporary situation that your child will overcome over time when their body is ready. 99% of all children outgrow bedwetting by the age of 15 (and most well before that). Tell your child it's not a big deal: the more upset you are, the more upset your child will be when they wet the bed. Stay calm and try a variety of solutions. Offer your child disposable absorbent underwear at bedtime, or wake them up before bed to go to the bathroom. Use a calendar to track the number of nights they stay dry versus the number of nights they wet the bed, and draw their attention to the number of nights without incidents. The most important thing you can do as a parent is make sure your children know that you love them and that you'll work together to resolve these nighttime accidents. In parenting, there aren't many second chances. Being as informed as possible helps your child stay strong and happy when they go through these difficult situations.