The child and friendship

By the time your child reaches preschool age, you've already taught them about love and security. You've demonstrated basic social skills like play and compromise. And you've encouraged them to explore while also showing them boundaries. At school and elsewhere, friends are essential to your child's development. They will learn fundamental life skills and human interaction during these years. Don't worry, you are still the most important person in your child's life. However, your teaching is limited to what you know and how you have learned it through your own experiences. After parents, friends are our guides. Friends show us things we didn't know and others we never knew existed. We share experiences with our friends, without parents. On our first day of school, we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory with strangers. Most children make friends among their classmates who are all going through the same situation. Children make friends with those who seem to like the same things they do; sometimes it's the style of their sneakers or what they build with blocks. This new person in their life does more than just keep them company. As children grow, these friends become more important, and so do all those uncharted paths. For some parents, this can become worrisome. When a child reaches preadolescence , some people feel that they are demanding a lot. This is not your imagination; it is completely normal as a child grows. Parents should strive to teach their children the skills that will allow them to make choices for themselves. Children and adults have friends for very different reasons. There may be different groups of friends; at soccer, at school, or at church. There are also friends in the neighborhood and those at summer camp. Each friend fulfills a very specific role in a child's development. Some children have difficulty making or keeping friends. Try not to feel hurt, even if your child is. If this happens repeatedly, you need to become a detective. Talk to other parents. Ask them what problems have arisen, but don't take it personally. Instead, think of yourself as a coach. Help your child discover their social weaknesses by observing groups of children on the playground. Ask them to observe a group and guess what they are saying to each other by watching their expressions and gestures. Ask him to observe other children and tell you what he thinks they are doing or what they might like to do with him. As a coach, you must encourage him. Just praising your star player won't help him overcome obstacles. This is where your detective work comes in. Give them clear instructions on what they should do (“say hello and introduce yourself”) and what they shouldn’t do (“don’t put your hands in your pockets”). Then, practice together. It’s like teaching them to swim. Friendship is very important for a child’s development. Parents need to help children make friends. Sometimes this means driving a taxi or postponing bedtime. Remember that friends provide formative experiences that you can’t provide for your child.